A woman with a worried look on her face speaks to a young child who sits in front of her with arms crossed in front of him.

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Solutions to Support Childhood Behavior

Some of the solutions families use to understand and manage challenging behaviors include:

1. Ask Your Primary Care Provider (PCP)

Many challenging behaviors are part of healthy child development. Your child’s PCP can give you information about development and help decide if you should be concerned. Since kids can sometimes have behavior problems when they aren’t feeling well, the PCP may also use a physical exam to make sure your child is healthy.

Learn how to bring up a concern.

2. Find a Mental Health Professional

Mental health professionals can help children learn new ways to behave. They may also teach parents/caregivers tools to improve their child’s behavior. Many mental health providers also offer parent training (see #6), coaching on collaborative problem-solving strategies (see #7) or behavioral therapies (see #8). Many caregivers also use support from mental health providers for themselves (see #9).

Learn how to choose a mental health provider to work with your family (guide) (podcast).

3. Keep Track

Keeping track of your child’s challenging behavior is one of the most important steps you can take toward finding a solution. ABC data (for “antecedent,” “behavior” and “consequence”) can help you to see patterns and choose the right solutions to manage behavior problems.

Learn how to track ABC data with this podcast.

4. Offer Choices

Beginning at around two to three years of age, many children start to show independence. For caregivers, this can sometimes look like defiance or other behavior problems. You can help your child practice independence while setting limits by offering choices.

Learn about setting limits and offering choices with our behavior series podcasts.

5. Communicate Clearly

It’s easy for children to get confused by adult demands – and many children communicate their confusion with challenging behavior. Behavior tools like visuals and social stories can help children understand what’s happening and give them ways to communicate their needs.

Learn about behavior tools with a podcast or by attending a Behavior Chat.

6. Try a Parent Training Program

Parent training can help you to learn new tools to manage behavior. You can choose to work 1:1 with a mental health provider, take virtual parent training workshops or participate in a group to get support from other parents while you learn.

Learn about some common parent training programs with this guide.

7. Use a Collaborative Approach

Many kids have challenging behavior because they don’t have the skills to do well. For example, a child with ADHD may fall further and further behind on homework because he doesn’t have the organization skills to complete assignments on time. Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach invites parents and children to work together to solve problems in a way that works for both.

Learn how CPS works with this podcast or take a deeper dive into why CPS works here.

8. Teach New Skills with Behavioral Therapies

Behavioral therapists help families to understand the reasons for challenging behavior. From there, they focus on teaching children new skills. There are different types of behavioral therapies, including Applied Behavior Analysis, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy – and even approaches that blend these therapies with others.

For information on different types of therapies that some CFK families use, check out this guide.

9. Support Yourself

Dealing with challenging behavior can be physically and emotionally exhausting. It can also leave caregivers with a lot of anger, guilt, embarrassment or hopelessness. It’s important to build a support network and use mental health resources to cope with the feelings you may have about your child’s behavior.

This guide offers tools to help you manage your emotions when your child is acting out. Many families also benefit from giving and getting support at Share and Support Group programs.

10. Collaborate with School

Even if a challenging behavior is only happening at home, it’s a good idea to keep communication with your child’s school open. Classroom teachers may have ideas about why a behavior is happening or may be able to share strategies that help.

For more information on collaborating with your child’s school check out this guide or listen to the podcast.