There are many ways that we can build resilience to help avoid getting to the point where Sonia was in our story.
Get in touch with yourself
Our expectations come from culture and our own life experiences. Sometimes our expectations are right for our kids and sometimes they’re not. Spend some time thinking about your expectations. Where do they come from? Why are they important? Are your children able to meet them right now? What kinds of support do they need to grow into them?
With mommy groups, social media, and Pinterest parenting all around us, it’s hard not to feel like we’re missing the mark with our parenting. Dr. Kristin Neff’s research has shown that when we allow ourselves to feel disappointment and respond to it with kindness for ourselves, there are all kinds of benefits. When we use self-compassion to admit that lots of parents and caregivers face the same struggles, we also feel more connected.
Find your village
Licensed clinical social worker and author, Mercedes Samudio, LCSW, talks about the importance of finding your village in her interview with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford of Therapy For Black Girls. Many parents and caregivers don’t have safe places where they can feel validated. Instead, our society tends to “heap on” parenting advice the moment we see struggle. Your village should be a place where you can share and be validated without having to dodge the latest parenting trend.
Prioritize your needs
Prioritizing your needs has some important benefits. First, it allows you to take some control over the things you can control. Second, children who see caregivers prioritize personal needs are more likely to prioritize their own. Finally, no one can pour from an empty bucket, but when our needs are met, we have more capacity to deal with stressors in the moment.
These tips for building resilience may seem like a lot to take on if you're just getting started, but Connecting for Kids is here to help.
Our Share & Support Group programs can help you build your village while learning strategies to be more compassionate with yourself and meet your own needs.
If you prefer the support of a professional mental health provider, you're not alone. Many families find providers using our Provider Directory. We also have a how-to guide and a podcast that can help you choose the right provider for your family.
Still struggling to get started? Ask Us! Our Family Resource Specialists are trained to help families find the education and resources they need.