Pronouns are words people use to talk about someone else. We use pronouns when:

• We don’t know a person’s name, or
• If it’s easier to say something without a person’s name

The most common pronouns are he/him/his and she/her/hers, but these are not the only options. People also use:

• They/them/their
• Ze/zim/zir (rhymes with “here” - can also be spelled with “x”)
• And and others

Learning to share your pronouns can feel awkward at first – and, if you’re like us, you may forget sometimes while you’re learning. Don’t worry, you’ll keep getting better at it with practice. Here are a couple ways to get started:

1. Use Pronouns on Name Tags

Many of the Connecting for Kids staff and board members have chosen to share pronouns on their name tags and in email signatures. While you should always check with your employer before changing information on business materials, adding pronouns on name tags at Connecting for Kids programs is always welcome!

2. Introduce Yourself with Your Pronouns

The simplest way to introduce yourself with your pronouns is to say something like: “I’m Kate Smith and I use she/her pronouns. Nice to meet you.”

Keep in mind that the person you’re meeting may not share their pronouns in return – and that’s okay. People may be at different places with their pronouns. They may be questioning their pronouns or they may not feel comfortable sharing. When this happens, it’s best to use the person’s name instead of pronouns.

Messing Up

Even with the best intentions we can still slip into the wrong pronouns. When you make a mistake, go back, apologize and substitute the correct pronoun. Here’s what that might look like:

“Jenna was sharing her experience at – I’m sorry – Jenna was sharing their experience at the last Share & Support Group program.”

“Blake said he would – thank you, Blake. Blake said she would collect the survey forms.”

Once you have apologized and made the correction, move on. Dwelling on the correction can make things awkward for the person whose pronouns were mistaken or put them in a position where they feel they have to explain.